Posts Tagged ‘The Upside of Divorce: A Review’

Review

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010


Recently I received an email from a divorced father of teenage sons who has written a book called Yes, There is an Upside of Divorce: It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life! He asked if I would read it, which I did. I was intrigued to see the male point of view.  Since the author had been married 25 years, I felt learning about his experience of divorce as an older person might be valuable to me as a woman, and it was.

The author, Brian Daniel, has written a very positive book about coping with divorce.  Since his wife took him by surprise by asking for the divorce, I would have expected a slightly bitter tone, but I was wrong. The author takes the negative aspects of this difficult time and provides the reader with some good food for thought.

Dividing the book into several sections, Daniel guides us through such concepts as “Start Seeing the Positive,” “Your Happier and More Enjoyable Life,” using music to help you through tough times, discussing the Serenity Prayer in relation to divorce, dealing with your anger and addressing possible depression, and other common sense ideas that I read with interest.

Here are some quotes from the book to give you’re the “flavor” of what to expect when you read it:

This is the positive book I was looking for. My book’s purpose is to tell you that all is not lost, and instead show you all the opportunities for a better life after the difficult one you now have to deal with and live with during your divorce or break-up with your partner.

More positive thinking will indeed reduce the occurrences of bad thoughts, provide for the dominance of other good thoughts, and eventually eliminate all your anger. Learn to turn off your negative thoughts and quit blaming yourself. Stop feeling guilty about your failed relationship! Concentrate on your positive thinking to learn from these failures instead.

It would be better to work on positive actions to prevent these problems with your next partner. Put this positive twist on it and move on. You must be wary of this depression that might be developing in you and that may be overtaking you. You need to be aware of this cycle you are stuck in and try to get out of it quickly. If you can’t stop your depressing thoughts, distract yourself quickly and easily by going outside to go walking, exercise, run errands, or visit someone.

In summary here, some wise people have said “happiness doesn’t come from having what you want, but comes with wanting what you have instead!” I have learned to do this in divorce and I must say this does work for me. …. And finally one more, small but important point about happiness, and that is, only we can make ourselves happy. No one, more than ourselves, can really make us happy.

Always being positive and enjoying every moment will always build on each other easily and forever, contributing more happiness and enjoyment, and allowing you to reach your full capabilities and live a robust full life!

After each section, the author summarizes what he has written and then leaves room for notes. This guide is not meant to replace medical or psychological advice, but does provide good practical advice that I found interesting, again, because it is the male point of view. This book is available directly from the author and also through Amazon.

You can buy copies of the book from Brian Daniel’s website. It is a great gift for someone going through divorce.

www.Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com and save $4 to $7 off Amazon’s total cost. He will mail your book copies to your address the next business day after receipt into his Pay Pal account.

Email any questions/problems to:  James@Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com

(Note Brian Daniel is the nom de plume used by the author. They are the names of his sons. His name is James, thus the website starts with that name.)

If you choose to use Amazon.com, please click on the icon below. Amazon’s price is $16.99.


P.S. I am also posting this on www.divorce-dayz.info, since the author first sent a query to that website because of his section on depression. He read my article on that topic on divorce-dayz.