Posts Tagged ‘Starting Over After Divorce’

Starting Over

Wednesday, November 17th, 2010

Note: Today’s photos were taken over the week-end, when the weather was warm and the sky was bright.  Even though Thanksgiving is almost here, the leaves on many of the trees are still brilliant, and I even like the ones that are losing their leaves. Old trees never die, they just go to sleep in a blaze of glory!

Now that Divorce-Dayz has morphed into exploring relationships, I am not exactly sure where to begin, so I thought I would write about my early experiences at dating after 30 years of marriage. I was already in my 50s and concerned that most men my age would want to date much younger women, but that was not the case.  In fact, I dated several men who were younger than I was and did not seem to mind it as much as I did.

I moved back to upstate New York and lived with my good friend Rhoda, who was also going through a dark divorce. (I wrote about our living together in an earlier posting.) On one of my first “outings” as a single person, I spoke with another single (guy) and when we were chatting, he asked me how long I was single. I told him about six months, and he replied, “Oh, you’re still bleeding!” I was taken aback, but he was right. I was still reeling from the slings and arrows of my divorce, wounded in heart and mind and not really ready for the “singles scene.” But over time, and with help from a divorce support group, friends, and family, I became braver and braver about going to dances and lectures and anything that put me back into Life.  I spent too much time at my own “pity party” and getting out with friends helped me break away from my pity party.

I wrote many rhymes during this time, one of which I share with you today.  It’s part of a booklet I put together called Recovery Rhymes. Here’s just one made of couplets that I originally called Transitions, but I think Starting Over is a better title:

Starting Over

heart rent
anger spent

mind reeling
slowly healing

gone away

another lover
marriage over

sadness strays
never stays

pain inserts
realty hurts

time releases
little pieces

mem’ries trigger
looming bigger

forget forever,
always, never

name anew

sunny smile
stay awhile

don’t miss
Life’s bliss

starting over
four-leaf clover

freedom’s pass
lucky lass!