Comic Relief
Sunday, December 13th, 2015With all the horrific events in the last few months, I thought we all could use a little comic relief. Here is a poster that our friend Ina sent us in a grouping, but this was my favorite!
Love This Doctor!
Monday, February 28th, 2011ANNOUNCEMENT! “We interrupt the series on Food Plans & Diets for some tongue-in-cheek humor that relates to health.”
Note: I am in the middle of reading the New Atkins for the New You as part of my series on Food Plans & Diets. But today in my email I found that my husband had forwarded the joke below. It seems so appropos to my series that I decided to post it for the week-end, especially since I am not finished reading the new Atkins book. ENJOY but don’t take it to HEART! Pun intended! I need to lighten up, both physically & mentally and this did the trick for me today.
Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong
life. Â Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that’s it… Don’t
waste it on exercise. Â Everything wears out eventually. Â Speeding up
your heart does not make you live longer; it’s like saying you extend the
life of your car by driving faster. Â Want to live longer? Â Take a nap!
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Â No, not at all. Â Wine is made from fruit. Â Brandy is distilled
wine; that means they take water out of the fruit, so you get even
more of goodness that way. Â Beer is also made of grain. Â Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have one body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular
exercise program?
A: Can’t think of single one, sorry. Â My philosophy is: No
pain…good!
Q: Â Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: Â YOU ARE NOT LISTENING! Â Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they are permeated by it. Â How could getting more vegetables be
bad for you?!?
Q: Â Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around
the middle?
A: Definitely not! Â When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. Â You
should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach.
Q: Â Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Â Are you crazy?!? Â HEL-LO-O!! Â Cocoa bean! Â Another vegetable!
It is the best feel-good food around!
Q: Â Is swimming good for your figure?
A: Â If swimming is good for your figure, explain whale to me..
Q: Â Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Â Hey! Â ‘Round’ is shape!
Well… I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have
had about food and diets.
And  remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but
rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in
the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming
“WOO-HOO, what a ride!!”
AND…..
For  those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on
nutrition and health. Â It’s a relief to know the truth after all
those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Americans.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks
than Americans.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Americans.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart
attacks than Americans..
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and
fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is
apparently what kills you!
Remember, this is humor, not good health advice!!! es