My First Mother-of the-Bride Wedding

Maura & Basha

Each of my three children is so different that I sometimes feel as though they were born of three different mothers (and fathers). Of course, I can remember the birth pains of each, so I know they are all mine.-

My oldest, Ira, eloped with fiancée Samantha in California, so I never went to that wedding. A Justice of the Peace was my older daughter Eileen’s choice, and while I was there, it was in a courthouse, not a wedding venue, so again I did not dance around as mother of the bride.

My three adult children: Left to right: Ira, Basha, & Eileen and my grandson Max with his Aunt Basha (Below)

My youngest, Basha, was born when I was already skirting middle age (41), and on July 18th, she and her partner of eight years, Maura, tied the knot. Actually, they first eloped in Massachusetts, where same sex marriages are legal, so the ceremony in New York was to celebrate their joining. (New York recognizes the Mass. License, but has not legalized marriage in this state—yet.)

This is the Justice of the Peace who married Basha & Maura in Massachusetts. She traveled far to join these two (again) in front of family and friends.

0018_rosiebashaeileen-me.jpg A snapshot of my kid sister Rosie, my daughter Eileen, Basha, & me.

Maura’s kid sister Beth, all dressed up in red, white & blue to celebrate at The Seamen’s Institute, where the decor was all about water, ships, and seamen.

Since this was my first time as mother-of-the bride at a bona fide celebration and my first time at a gay wedding, I was a little nervous. But everything went well: the weather was gorgeous — no humidity or rain — the trip into New York was easy, the Seamen’s Institute was a perfect location with a view of the Brooklyn Bridge, and the food and music were terrific. Basha and Maura planned it all and we just had to show up!
Toasting to Basha & Maura

Whatever path your children choose, support them with love and caring. Each of my children has a different lifestyle, a different political stance, and a different view of marriage. But I love them and celebrate their aliveness and the fact that they are all part of the universe we live in. They are great adults and when I saw all three of them together at the wedding, I realized that I didn’t do such a bad job after all!

0499full-sizefampix.jpg Part of my family. My two brothers & their wives came after the pre-ceremony pictures were taken, so I have no formal shots of them.

As mother of the bride(s), I had the honor of giving the first toast, which I did in the form of a rhyme. Here I am about to begin, wearing my sailor hat and red tie befitting the setting of The Seamen’s Institute:


July 18, 2009

Eighteen means LIFE in Hebrew numerology,
So fitting for this special day….
When Maura & Basha announce to the world:
“Our Love is Here to Stay”…

Marrying in “Summertime, When the Livin’ isEeasy,”
Showing their love, not the least bit queasy.
Boldly going where no man has gone before
Maura’s “Starr”* struck; Basha’s somewhere offshore.

‘Cause “Love is in the Air” and
this is an “Affair to Remember.”
So let’s dance in a city that never sleeps,
Knowing that Basha & Maura’s love runs deep,
wishing them both a “Field of Dreams”

With blossoming hope as love screams
To be heard, for Love is absurd, Love is divine
Love is the reason we’re all drunk on wine.

Let’s toast to Basha & Maura, these precious two
As they enjoy this day—“A Rhapsody in Blue.”

*Basha’s last name is Starr


Note: The photographer, Sarah Tew, did a wonderful job of taking photos. To see the full range of her work, go to Click on Client Proofing on the links list, select the gallery that shows Basha & Maura and enter the password Maura_Basha. Once there, go to the top and click on Categories to see the photos taken at different times during the celebration.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Copyright ©2022 Ellen Sue Spicer-Jacobson. | Website by Parrish Digital.