My Brother Paul, a Terrific Dad

My slightly older brother Paul was a terrific father: kind, attentive, soft-spoken and loving. While I loved my own dad and have posted two times about his life, he was an absentee father in that he worked seven days a week, 10-12 hours per day at his own gas station/garage business.

My brother Paul, (nickname Bali), on the other hand, was a hands-on dad who spent a great deal of time with his children, probably because he remembered how little time our own father spent with us.  Paul was a professor at Brown University for many years. Once when I visited him and my close friend Carol, who he married, I asked Carol if she had ever seen him teach. Her answer was “No.” So I said, “Let’s go hear his lecture.” We did and even though it was well into the semester, I understood everything he said, because he was great at teaching. In fact, he was voted as a favorite teacher several times. He had themes to his lectures, sometimes wearing a “costume.” I remember he was a Star Trek character in one of his “incarnations.” He also used to go to his “office” in their house and practice his lecture after writing it, much like the way I imagine a minister does for the Sunday mass.

As his health diminished, along with his memory, I went to visit him and he said that seeing his students when they visited made him feel really good. He often mentored grad students in his lab and made a real difference in their lives. He died four years ago and I miss him a lot. He always had my back. He was funny and smart and I know his children miss him a great deal. I wish him a silent Happy Fathers Day, because when he was alive, he made his wife and kids happy!

4 Responses to “My Brother Paul, a Terrific Dad”

  1. Sylvia says:

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful tribute to your brother, Paul! I miss my own brother terribly today. We are blessed to have had such special siblings.

  2. Paula says:

    God Bless Paul and all Dads! My father was a Paul,
    and I was named for him…Paula.
    Thank you for honoring your brother today!
    Happy Father’s Day to all fathers! They
    gave us life.

  3. Carol says:

    I had not seen these when I answered you asking if I had seen it. I had forgotten today is Father”s Day. Yes,he was a great Dad. Our anniversary is also coming up. We will probably visit his grave when Jeffrey and Christina are here later in the week.

  4. Helen Luu says:

    So sad. I understand how much you miss him. Take care.

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