While visiting a friend at the nursing home where my mother-in-law resided, I found a sheet of paper that I borrowed and typed up because I thought the wording was clever and thought it could be your laugh, or at least smile, of the day. Here it is, although I don’t know the source.
Lexiphile is a word used to describe those that love a play on words, such as: You can tune a piano, but you canât tuna fish, or:
To write with a broken pencilâ¦is pointless.
When fish are in schools, they sometimesâ¦take debate.
A thief who stole a calendarâ¦got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angelesâ¦U.C.L.A.
The batteries were given outâ¦free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist marriedâ¦They fought tooth & nail.
A will is a â¦dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new nameâ¦and a dress.
When youâve seen one shopping center….youâve seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year old wasâ¦resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?…Heâs all right now.
A bicycle canât stand aloneâ¦it is too tired.
When a clock is hungryâ¦it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell into an upholstery machineâ¦was fully recovered.
He had a photographic memoryâ¦which was never developed.
Thos who get too big for their britches will beâ¦exposed in the end.
When she saw her first strands of gray hairâ¦she thought sheâd dye.
Acupunctureâ¦a jab well done!
A boiled eggâ¦is hard to beat.