While visiting a friend at the nursing home where my mother-in-law resided, I found a sheet of paper that I borrowed and typed up because I thought the wording was clever and thought it could be your laugh, or at least smile, of the day. Here it is, although I don’t know the source.
Lexiphile is a word used to describe those that love a play on words, such as: You can tune a piano, but you can’t tuna fish, or:
To write with a broken pencil…is pointless.
When fish are in schools, they sometimes…take debate.
A thief who stole a calendar…got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles…U.C.L.A.
The batteries were given out…free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married…They fought tooth & nail.
A will is a …dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name…and a dress.
When you’ve seen one shopping center….you’ve seen a mall.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year old was…resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off?…He’s all right now.
A bicycle can’t stand alone…it is too tired.
When a clock is hungry…it goes back four seconds.
The guy who fell into an upholstery machine…was fully recovered.
He had a photographic memory…which was never developed.
Thos who get too big for their britches will be…exposed in the end.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair…she thought she’d dye.
Acupuncture…a jab well done!
A boiled egg…is hard to beat.