How to Lose a Husband: Part 2

Here is the last half of the 50 ways to lose a husband, with the last five blank for you to send me your ideas, no matter how ludicrous!

26. Ask him to take care of a grandchild, niece, or nephew for the week-end, because you have a women’s conference you forgot about.

27. When you go on a trip, insist on taking maps or a GSP so you won’t get lost, just because he won’t ask for directions. (Joke: The reason Moses wandered for 40 years in the desert is because he wouldn’t ask for directions, either!)

28. Stop getting up at 6 am to drive your husband to the airport for a meeting, especially if your day is already busy.

29. If you work at home, rearrange the house so you have a real office (as he might), not just a corner of the kitchen, even if it cuts into his space.

30. When his mother comes to visit, ask him to clean the toilet bowls, because you are too busy with other house chores.

31. Go away on a personal or business trip just as he returns from one of his.  Tell him to save what happened to him until you return.

32. Shave your legs with his new razor and forget to tell him about the razor.

33. When you go to another city, lose your husband in a mall for a couple of hours. Turn off your cell phone.

34. Throw out his favorite old, ripped work shirt. Tell him it shredded in the washer.

35. Slowly drive him crazy by misplacing his tools.

36. Use his keys to drive the car and then forget where you put them.

37. Don’t help him make arrangements to see his divorced buddies or unmarried friends.

38. When he forgets his briefcase, don’t bring it to the office for him.

39. Make social faux pas with his corporate buddies. Better yet, flirt with them!

40. Dress like a stripper the night of the annual corporate dance and dance with other men.

41. Stop faking orgasms if you are still having sex! Tell him when he is an inconsiderate lover.

42. Suggest he dye the gray in his hair as you do yours.

43. When he needs to entertain his boss and wants you to make dinner, tell him to have the meal catered.

44. Buy flowers for yourself on important occasions and tell him they are from a male friend.

45. Stop believing he knows more than you do; he doesn’t!

46. Your turn

47. Your idea.

48. Your input.

49. Your input.

50. Anonymous suggestion.

Joke from a  friend apropos Tiger’s being in the woods! A little boy is being bathed by his mother. He looks up and asks her, “Mommy, are my brains in my penis?” His mother answered, “Not yet, honey. Not yet!”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Copyright ©2022 Ellen Sue Spicer-Jacobson. | Website by Parrish Digital.