Ex's Third Time Around
Friday, December 11th, 2009Note: The quotes today are from a little book called Eat, Drink and Remarry: What Women Really Think About Divorce, Edited by Roz Warren, a local librarian. The cartoons are from the Internet.
When my husband remarried a second time, six months after our divorce, the ink was barely dry on the final papers. On the day of his wedding, I felt weird. That marriage lasted about three years. Now he is remarrying a woman he has been living with many years. When my daughter told me about the invitation, I felt curious, but nothing more.
“Divorce: Fission after fusion.” Rita Mae Brown
Since my ex’s wedding day is tomorrow, Dec. 12th, I decided to look for a poem I wrote when he announced his second marriage, back in 1993, in case you have experienced this and feel as weird as I did then. I finally found it!
It’s OK You’re Getting Married
It’s OK you’re getting married: it’s ok to have a wife.
I don’t carry if you remarry; I already have a Life!
What’s not ok is how you left me, how you left me all the hurt–
All the broken, empty promises, like a dinner without dessert.
Telling me lies was oh, so easy; keeping my computer was the worst!
All the words locked up inside me; all your needs were always frst.
So go on and get a new wife; you’ll be unlucky #4.
And when it’s over, don’t show up at my front door.
I no longer miss your face, your hugs or your kisses;
I’ve moved on, you can have your brand new Mrs.
My life is like Nirvana; every day I feel brand new,
Growing miracles in my own backyard–rows of marigolds–a golden hue.
It’s ok you’re getting married; actually, I will be fine.
For you see I am now a Goddess* and love only those Divine.
And Divine is not your style, and compassion not your speed ;
I love being on my own now. Thank God it’s not you I need!
I forgive you for being stupid, for breaking promises left & right.
Just don’t forget the child support, or they’ll come for you at night.
Our life was over long ago; you killed our married life.
Time to bury the broken dreams; so OKAY not to be your wife!
* When I lived in Israel, I took the name Elah. Twenty years later I found out it was the feminine name for God
“Half of all marriages end in divorce—and then there are the really unhappy ones.”
Joan Rivers
Amnesty International is directly involved with human rights. The article on my website,