I was 65 and had just about given up on finding a mate after 13 years as a divorcee, deciding there were worst things than not being married. And then I met Alan through an ad in The Jewish Exponent, a publication that covered the greater Philadelphia area. I lived three hours west, so I was definitely out of the loop, a GUPPIE (my word for a Geographically Undesirable Person).

With my first call back after he left me a message, I got his voicemail, which said, “Leave your name and number, and If I like you, I’ll call you back.” I thought, “Well, he has a good sense of humor.” (Score one for Alan) Then, when I actually spoke to Alan the first time and he found out where I lived, he almost decided not to meet me. I boldly said, “But what if I’m THE ONE and you didn’t meet me?”

But meet we did in Philadelphia, because my friend Susan had to go for business and took me with her. Our first date was terrific, one of the best first dates I ever had in 13 years. We just clicked. He had never dated a vegetarian and asked if I minded if he ate meat at dinner. (Score 2 for Alan.)

At the end of the evening, we sat and talked for hours. The next day, with Susan’s encouragement, I called him at work, after I learned Susan was planning lunch with her brother-in-law after her meeting. Alan agreed to meet, but told me that after lunch he had to visit his 96 year-old mother, something he did every day. (Score 3). We sat alone, because there were no tables for four. Better for us, so we could talk more. After lunch, when Alan left for the hospital, he said he would call. Right! In my dreams….

The next day, back in State College, I knew I was smitten. I prayed he actually would call on Valentine’s Day, which was the next day, and he did! We made another date, and the rest, as they say, is history. Or maybe mystery! I moved to Philadelphia a few months later; we were engaged about six months later, and married one year later.

Our marriage is a daily challenge of understanding that you have lived almost your entire life in another world with another “first mate.” (Alan was married for 43 years and was a widower, while i had been married 30 years.) But my feelings for Alan are very strong and eclipse the differences, at least most of the time. And I feel young in my heart, even if my mirror tells me otherwise. Love can do wonders!

We all grow older, but growing old is optional. I suggest you read my review of Amanda Busch’s research on later love in Reviews and see for yourself that Love is Love is Love, at any age. (Another good book is Fountain of Age by Betty Friedan, a book about other choices for older adults.) And like the song says, “Love’s more comfortable the second time around…..”

There is another book that I wanted to review, but felt it would make the blog too “heavy.” I hope to review it in a future posting, but in the meantime, I just want to mention the title since it related to mothers. It is called Every Mother is a Daughter by Perri Klass (daughter) and Sheila Solomon Klass (mother). They are both writers in their own right and I believe this is their first collaborative effort. It is available in book stores and online and makes a wonderful Mother’s Day gift for any female, since we are all daughters.

I took this picture in the courtyard of the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, TN outside the former stables where we ate lunch in a horse stable. The women allowed me to take their picture, so I hope they don’t mind that I posted it. I love hats!