Note: The quotes today are from a little book called Eat, Drink and Remarry: What Women Really Think About Divorce, Edited by Roz Warren, a local librarian. The cartoons are from the Internet.
When my husband remarried a second time, six months after our divorce, the ink was barely dry on the final papers. On the day of his wedding, I felt weird. That marriage lasted about three years. Now he is remarrying a woman he has been living with many years. When my daughter told me about the invitation, I felt curious, but nothing more.
“Divorce: Fission after fusion.” Rita Mae Brown
Since my ex’s wedding day is tomorrow, Dec. 12th, I decided to look for a poem I wrote when he announced his second marriage, back in 1993, in case you have experienced this and feel as weird as I did then. I finally found it!
It’s OK You’re Getting Married
It’s OK you’re getting married: it’s ok to have a wife.
I don’t carry if you remarry; I already have a Life!
What’s not ok is how you left me, how you left me all the hurt–
All the broken, empty promises, like a dinner without dessert.
Telling me lies was oh, so easy; keeping my computer was the worst!
All the words locked up inside me; all your needs were always frst.
So go on and get a new wife; you’ll be unlucky #4.
And when it’s over, don’t show up at my front door.
I no longer miss your face, your hugs or your kisses;
I’ve moved on, you can have your brand new Mrs.
My life is like Nirvana; every day I feel brand new,
Growing miracles in my own backyard–rows of marigolds–a golden hue.
It’s ok you’re getting married; actually, I will be fine.
For you see I am now a Goddess* and love only those Divine.
And Divine is not your style, and compassion not your speed ;
I love being on my own now. Thank God it’s not you I need!
I forgive you for being stupid, for breaking promises left & right.
Just don’t forget the child support, or they’ll come for you at night.
Our life was over long ago; you killed our married life.
Time to bury the broken dreams; so OKAY not to be your wife!
* When I lived in Israel, I took the name Elah. Twenty years later I found out it was the feminine name for God
“Half of all marriages end in divorce—and then there are the really unhappy ones.”