The Scoop on Breasts: A Plastic Surgeon Busts the Myths by Dr. Ted Eisenberg & Joyce K. Eisenberg

The cover and title of the book, The Scoop on Breasts: A Plastic Surgeon Busts the Myths (Incompra Press, 2012), give the reader a hint that this is no routine question and answer book. Written by the surgeon himself, Dr. Ted Eisenberg, in partnership with his award-winning author/editor/columnist wife Joyce, the book includes candid answers to 200 actual patient questions. Dr. Eisenberg, a Philadelphia plastic surgeon who specializes in cosmetic breast surgery, holds the Guinness World Record for the most breast augmentations performed in a lifetime (more than 5,000).

The Scoop on Breasts is heavily illustrated and both informational and irreverent (as in bold and cheeky, but not mocking), as well as entertaining, or more to the point, titillating. This last word is on their list of “tit”-containing words that will get past broadcast TV censors. Just one look at the chapter titles—A Tale of Two Titties, The ABCs of Double Ds, Tits & Ask—- and you know the Eisenbergs had a great time writing this helpful book for people who want breast implants or breast reductions for various reasons, both medical and non-medical.

Many people believe that having cosmetic breast surgery because of “vanity” is a frivolous waste of money. But after reading some of the patients’ questions and concerns, I learned that there is a wide range of reasons for this surgery, such as one breast being much larger than the other, breasts that are so large they hurt the back, and breasts that just need a “lift” for aesthetic reasons. (Two of my family members had breast reduction and there was literally a weight off their shoulders, since both women were small-boned and very large breasted.)

Chapter 1, A Tale of Two Titties, gives basic medical and anatomical information about breasts, answering such questions as “What’s in a Breast?” The first page of the chapter follows the title with the spirit of Dickens: “It was the breast of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness…” There is also some historical information, such as when the first bra was created. All these “titbits” of information help set the stage for a better understanding of the surgery (mostly) women seek, although earlier in his career, Dr. Eisenberg, performed surgery on men who had gynecomastia (excess breast tissue).

Probably my favorite page is the beginning of Chapter 2, The ABCs of Double Ds. Inspired by Dr. Seuss’s wonderful book, Green Eggs and Ham, one of my favorites of his, is this list of questions that will be answered in subsequent pages. (The rhyme was actually written by the Eisenberg’s son, Ben.)

Will my implants make me float? Could I take them on a boat?
Could I bring them on a plane? What will happen in the rain?
If I squeeze them will they pop? Will I fit in my old top?
In the sauna will they boil? Are they filled with cooking oil?
Will they freeze up in the cold? Will they droop when I am old?
Can I get them if I’m high? What will happen when I die?

These questions and many others are answered throughout the book, coupled with illustrations and photos on every page, creating a wonderfully designed “picture book” for adults, with questions and answers handled delicately and honestly.

The book design is by Sara Hodgson and Anoki Casey of Incompra Press. Both are to be congratulated for creating a design and illustrations that capture the reader’s attention and draw him or her into the text. I plan to share this (again) titillating, helpful book with anyone contemplating cosmetic breast surgery for whatever reason.

The Scoop on Breasts: A Plastic Surgeon Busts the Myths
By Dr. Ted Eisenberg and Joyce K. Eisenberg
Paperback, 208 pages
$17.95
Available at Amazon.com, TheScoopOnBreasts.com, and in e-book formats for the Kindle, the Nook, and the iPad (through the Apple iBookstore).

Authors Dr. Ted and Joyce Eisenberg

 


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